*cringe*

It is raining out. And I have to work today. It should be an easy day for me at least, since it is just sitting and watching more presentations and I know I will be fine if I can just get myself out of the damn apartment... and not float off into my own little world.

The extremes of the anxiety the last few weeks left me rather shut down yesterday afternoon and evening. I took a nap from about 4 to 630pm after coming home from the pet store, even though I didn't get out of bed until after noon yesterday. Then I went to bed at 11pm and didn't get up until about 40 minutes ago. Not that I even really napped or slept at all...

No, I was fucking day dreaming. I didn't really do anything yesterday. Other than the rain which I just plainly don't like more than it gives me anxiety, I felt generally fine. But my mind still kept wandering and before I realized it my mind was off in its own little fantasy land for pretty much the rest of the day and night. I know I was just coming down from all the stress of the anxiety, but keeping my mind off these daydreams once they start going is nearly as maddening.

I want to feel as relaxed as I am in the daydreams in reality.... which is kinda odd considering I am still a nervous person in the daydreams, I just either handle it better or everyone else does.